Distracted, Loved, and Blogging Anyway

I’m working on the blog as much as I can. Oddly, the writing part seems to come easy—or naturally—probably because I’ve been bottled up for so many months, searching for a way to express myself without making those around me think I’m “going into a crazy zone.” It’s a delicate balance.

The part that doesn’t come naturally is the functionality of the blog. It’s like the more I mess with it, the more I screw it up. I just want a clean website that includes a blog and a podcast page. Sounds simple, looks easy, yet if you aren’t familiar with the tools, you stumble around trying to do things that you know you can do—or maybe even have done before—but now seem impossible.

At some point, the site will be as close to perfect as I can make it. When that will be? I’m not sure. That’s just how it goes when you’re chasing a vision that feels complete in your mind, but as it starts to come together, you think, “Wait, why don’t I do this too?” And then that decision affects everything else.

It also doesn’t help that I’m building this in the dining room, where my presence apparently invites random curiosity and persistent distractions. Even though those distractions come from a place of warmth and love, they can still be, well, distracting. I try to accept them as part of the process and not outwardly show how annoying it is to be patted on the shoulder every time someone walks by, causing me to stop, say, “What’s up?” and hear, “Oh, nothing, just love you.” I love you too. I’ve said that three times in the past hour.

Ultimately, I suppose I’d rather have the intermittent love check-ins than none at all, so I’ll stop complaining. I’ll get it done. And yes, I do expect a pat on the back for doing it.